I was very close to my great-grandmother and I consider myself truly blessed to have gotten the chance to know her and feel her love and warmth. We played games together when I was little, she taught me how to sew and how to count. Memories of her are always plesant and bring back happy memories to me. As I grew older, we began to stay together to look after one another when my grandmother and grandfather whom she shared a house with went to Florida for the winters. These were always pleasant times for us to spend together and we shared many laughs and tears as she told me of her life and shared stories with me about my relatives. We were as close as any two people could possibly be. She knew me so well that sometimes it was as if she could see right inside of me and feel my pain without ever exchanging a word. I believe that as she grew older, she gained a certian insight to things that happened around her. She almost seemed to be clairvoyant. I remember on one ce! rtian occassion when we were staying together for the winter, I was invited out to a movie with some friends from school. I was a junior in highschool and I accepted the invitation without hesitation. I was getting ready to go and my grandmother approached me and asked me where I was going, when I told her she seemed more worried than usual. I questioned her on this and she told me not to go that something would happen to me if I did. I was curious yet frightened at the same time. I knew her so well, but there was something so strange and unfamiliar in her voice. It was truly enough to keep me from going. I phoned my friends and declined. I was a little dissapointed at first, but the next day I was happy that I had listened to the warning of my great-grandmother 'grammy'. After the movie, it had begun to hail outside. Apparently my friend who was driving lost control of the vehicle and went into a ditch. No one was too seriously hurt, but they spent most of the rest of the nig! ht in the emergency room at the local hospital. I was so suprised and yet grateful at the same time. We never discussed what had happened, but when I hung up the phone after receiving the news she looked at me with an 'Aren't you glad you listened to me' look that said it all. I never again questioned her advice on things and I found myself coming to her more and more often when things were bothering me. She never once gave me a bad bit of advice. When she became very ill I was about 18. I had been working as a nurses aide at a nursing home. When grammie became ill with shingles she needed constant care, and it only seemed logical that I quit work and take care of her. She became worse and eventually became bed ridden. I realized that she needed more care than I could give her anymore. She was unable to stand on her own and her care required more than just one person could give. My grandmother and I made a decision to place her in the best nursing home that we could find. It was the hardest decision that I ever had to make and it troubles me still at times if I did the right thing or not. I visited her often. I went to college locally that Fall, but I still came to see her as often as I could. As soon as I reached her floor, she would start calling my name. She knew I was there before she saw me. I would walk in and she would be smiling at me waiting to visit. I can still see her face filled with love greet! ing me. We would look at family photos that I put into an album for her and we would talk while I brushed her hair for her like she did for me so many years before. Those visits were so precious to us both and it was so hard to leave. I was still living at the house where we had stayed together all of those winters before. I had moved in to her old room because it helped me to feel closer to her. The night she died I felt the edge of my bed go down and I woke up suddenly. I was not scared, because in front of me was Grammie surrounded by a dim light. She placed her hands on my face and spoke to me. She said that she loved me and that she had passed over. She said that she would always be with me and that I should never feel alone or scared. She also told me that she was at peace and that she felt no more pain. I remember every detail of her face that night. She seemed younger and so at peace. It is hard to explain, but I am certian that I saw her and that it was not a dream. S! he was dressed in lavendar which seemed strange to me because in life she had always avoided the color purple in any shade. As she spoke to me the phone rang in the distance. I looked away in the direction of the phone for a brief second and when I looked back to her she was gone. My grandmother called me from the upstairs stairwell and I said to her 'that was the nursing home and Grammie is gone isn't she' she answered what I already knew to be true. I told grandma about what had happened and although we never spoke of it again, I know that she knew it to be true also. It is just hard to believe in that sort of thing, so I have not shared these things with many people for fear of being called crazy. After that night I truly believe that there is something more. I feel Grammies presence with me every day. I know that she is still with me. I also think that she passed something along to me that night when I last saw her because I have seen other 'spirits' or 'ghosts' if you wil! l since then. Nothing scary, just constant reminders that death is not the end of those we love. How it changed my life:I am very concious of the world around me now. It was said to me once that 'Everyone is in contact with 'spirits' or 'ghosts' if you will every day. If you let yourself be open to them you would be amazed at what you will see'.I truly believe that . I still talk to Grammie when I need to seek council and I always feel better. It is as though she speaks to me and comforts me from within myself. I feel her around me often and I am comforted by her presence in my life.
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