To all my fellow USMers that I love soo much. This is not a normal post from me. I don't normally talk about the unknown or seeing things. I know this is a long post, but to understand it all (and so I can please get the help I need) please try to read the whole thing. I love you, and give my thanks in advance.
"It was one of the strangest and scariest experiences of my life.
So.. I fell asleep and I have no idea how much later it was, but I woke up and I couldn't move. I couldn't breath or speak or scream and I kept trying to yell for someone but I couldn't. I really just felt like someone was completely pinning me down and I was totally frozen. I couldn't do anything but fall back asleep.. and I did and then I woke up a few more times with the same thing.
I've read about sleep paralysis and I know that people tend to feel some sort of presence in the room, but I really didn't. I was plain terrified because of the not being able to move thing, but I didn't really feel like anyone was around or something.
It was so insanely scary. A few hours after I initially fell asleep my mom came in and woke me up and I just started crying and was so upset.
A month after this was written I had my ankle surgery, and everything went fine. Then about a month and a half later, I went into some room (don't remember which room was the first) and fainted. No one was there to see if I had a seizure, and of course, I do not remember it. The very first seizure I had was a few days later, about the middle of July. I walked into the living room, fell onto my ex boyfriend's lap, apparently they all got me onto the ground.. and had my first grand mal seizure.
For quite some time I completely forgot about the sleep paralysis experience. But then one day when I was talking to my neurologist she was having me describe EXACTLY how I feel before or after, or sometimes even during a seizure. I told her a lot of the time I feel like I want to scream but I can't and sometimes at night I can tell I'm awake but I'm not really (when I'm having a petit mal) and describe these seizures exactly like I described that "sleep paralysis."
Now, I know in my first experience I wrote about on USM, that I thought was sleep paralysis, I said was I didn't feel anyone around me. However, since then, during seizures, my parents have said I have pointed at things in the room that are not there. I have said "THAT WOMAN SLAPPED ME" "THE TALL WOMAN SLAPPED ME" And there was no one but my mom by me in the room. I often stare off into space but then point at something. I would be pointing at a figure, or a face that I have seen in my room. And it would not just be my vision being blurry. I could comprehend that there were my mom and dad there, or that they were saying they were calling 911, or that this time they didn't need to.. so and so. I remember SOME things. Just not very much, and what I do remember, is weird, and it's those apparitions that appear to me that I remember the most.
I know this sounds insane.. but sometimes I wonder if my seizures are SEIZURES.. or.. something more? (I can't believe I'm posting this, now you all will think I'm nuts.)
It's not like hallucinations aren't common with seizures but these feel different, I don't know.. it just seems so different. And doctors HAVE said (more then one) that my seizures ARE NOT every day seizures, they are much worse.
*My doctors think that first experience I had that I posted about "http://www.myusm.com/usm479892.html" was really my first seizure. But I had no headache, no pain, none of the post-seizure experiences I generally have.
*Do you think that there is a connection between these two things?
*Now this is REALLY taking a leap.. we are no doctors.. but the doctors aren't keeping the seizures under control, so why not think about other things anything...
*Do you think it's possible that it is something else causing the seizures? A demon? A spirit?
By the way, I swear I haven't gone nuts.. I'm generally cynical about this type of thing. It just seems a little odd, and all the things that have happened and keep happening to me just aren't normal. They are starting to make me wonder if it's something else..
Even the way I broke my arm was described as "a very odd break" for someone from a seizure." It was like "something" pulled my arm out behind me so it would break when I fell, because someone unconscious does not have that reflex to protect themselves from falling. As in, the break I had was the way someone would put their arm out behind them when they fall. That isn't possible I could have done that.
So... any psychics out there on USM, or just any thoughts on general? Anyone else sensing some strange things too? I wish I could describe like an ENTIRE seizure for you, but that'd make this post even longer... I'm begging you, please try to see this from my eyes. Imagine waking up in these ambulances, in so much pain, with a broken bone, a sprain, bruises, concussions, or whatever it be, on almost a weekly basis. And doctors NOT being able to stop them.
I'm really not trying to get a medical point of view out of this post.. but if you have a tiny little feeling in you, that my little feeling may be right.. please share that with me.
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Date: 5/15/2008 9:17:00 AM
From Authorid: 56293Wow Kate. I have no idea. But it sounds like Hell, what you are going through. I'm not big into paranormal things or what not .. so I'm probably not the right person to give you advice. But I do hope that they find something to control your seizures.
Date: 5/15/2008 9:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 18155There is alot of strange stuff you cited, assuming it's accurate based om memory and witnessed by others.Obviously something is doing these things to you as opposed to them being self inflected or caused by your "subconscious". Blaming it on a "demon" would be easy to do and could be validated by any member of any Catholic order. Either one is abusing you or its not. Since it seems the scientific has been of little insight, I'd try the supernatural, just to see what can be gain as to your situation.
Date: 5/15/2008 9:25:00 AM
From Authorid: 51393Could it be possible your possesed?You can try to see if a priest would performed for you and see if this might help.This could be what you call an advanced possesion.Now having them to do this is another,but i would try to insist if this is truly the cause,I hope you do find the answer into this dillema,i wish you luck(((((hugs)))))
Date: 5/15/2008 10:02:00 AM
From Authorid: 64593Wow! This sounds really scary. When you speak of sleep paralysis I know how you feel about that. It's terrifying. It was really scary reading this post and it very well could be something evil triggering it. I really have no clue. I know that when I'm sleeping but trying to wake up, move, say anything, I always feel something evil around me trying to keep me in there, trying to scare me. I can often only pray in my sleep to get out of it. It's scary stuff. I hope you figure it out. Try praying about it. God bless. ---Teal Dreams---
Date: 5/15/2008 10:14:00 AM
From Authorid: 21903This is kinda scary stuff! I didn't realize that the whole seizure experience was this relatively new. The pointing thing kinda leads me to the same conslusion as you, but of course I could not know for sure as I am not in your shoes nor am I psychic (sadly). I'd hate to say something like 'go see a priest'! But I wonder if there is somethign more to it. Did you have anything happen before your first grand mal seizure? Did you move into a new home or visit a bf in a new home? Did you go to a cemetary or somewhere associated with death? Iknow that sounds even more wacko, but I just wonder if a spirit was able to 'attach' itself to you somehow. Please dont' think I'm crazy, I just get really intrigued by the supernatural.
Date: 5/15/2008 10:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228I read a book about Epilepsy once...I think it was called Brainstorm or something like that. It said in some ancient societies that woman with Epilepsy were used as Prophets and psychics. I would think that during a seizure you wouldn't have the presence of mind to do something like throw your arms out to catch yourself as someone conscious would. Also, if you were in a grand mal state your muscles might already be doing the uncontrollable jerking motion before you hit the ground, that's why your arm may have been broken at a funny angle. I know during some of my seizures I could hear people talking to me, yet I was totally paralyzed, it's like being locked inside your head. I had the deja vu and jamis vu feelings and I would also dream while unconscious. Even though mine are mostly controlled now, sometimes I get a strange out of body sensation, or I can look at something that should seem familiar, yet it seems totally unfamiliar if that makes sense. In some cases seizures can be misdiagnosed as schizophrenia because some people do halluncinate during them.
Date: 5/15/2008 10:57:00 AM
From Authorid: 24673After reading this I can understand why you are feeling this way and you have tried the medical route (and please stay with that)but in the meantime, trying the paranormal route might be a good idea too. How about hypnotherepy? Good luck to you and I don't believe anyone on here would think you're nuts--most of us have had paranormal experiences or at least believe!
43991 Category:(Discussion) Created:(5/15/2008 8:56:00 AM)