My story is long and I would like to shorten it or have time to explain my story when I could have more time. The shorter story goes like this. I was having a very hard time after a sticky divorce from a double addict. My year and a half daughter followed me around like a shadow. I was fixing tea and turned around the same second my little one pulled a cup of hot water on herself. She was taken to the hospital and bandaged and I was told if she ran a fever to bring her back. I had a previous responsibility of taking my niece back to her mother (she had stayed the week-end with me). So I left my baby with one of my sisters because I didn't want to travel with her. I took my two older children with me. When I returned I went to my house because it was late. While I was gone she had a fever and my sister was at work leaving my baby with her room mate. She took her to the hospital and the state took her custody. I have since gone to college and tried to better myself. I had another child which was heaven sent. I also joined the National Guard. This I did before I started college and tried to bring myself up to give my children a better life. I had to put my children in custody of the state temporally for basic training. After this is when I had my fourth child and started college. Because of tramatic events my first two children were emotionally disturbed. My oldest they said was Austistic. My story is jumbled right now because it is really hard to write. I had full time school, two children in hospitals, and my little daughter in foster care and my baby at home. I was going and coming so fast that I couldn't keep up with myself. The stress was tremendous. I finally got my older daughter home and she was main lined in regular school. I signed adoption papers for my baby girl. I thought she would have a more stable home and more of a life than I could give her. It was understood by me that she would be adopted by a family she had been living with for 4 years. I also tried to get open adoption and they wouldn't give that to me. So for her I did it. Only to find they changed her adoptive family and I didn't have any idea where she went. She was nearly ten when I finally gave up and signed them. There are so many more details I would love to write but I am using the library computer and I never have much time to sit and write. Since this,anyway, I have lived in California and worked in Aerospace as a technical writer. My younger son is on a mission for his church in Colorado. I have moved back home to Kansas and am trying to find my lost daughter. I tried many ideas to fix my problem before I did such a drastic thing as adoption. I had a three bedroom home that I shared with a roommate I went to the state of Kansas and they said my home was fine, then since the state of Missouri had custody (my sister lived in Missouri and I lived in Kansas when this happen) they wouldn't let me have her because I was sharing my home... unstable. I had an apartment of my own and I couldn't get custody because it wasn't big enough. The excuses just kept mounting. I saw a lawer and he said it was a problem of Kansas vs. Missouri more than just me. This is when I had my fourth child, thank God for him. My baby girl was close to ten and the psycologist said she was getting disturbed because she didn't feel that she belonged anywhere... so this was when I finally signed the papers. It was a very hard. Not by choice. I felt it was something she needed. She was a well balanced child and smart cute and wonderful to have. I just wanted her to be ok and have a good life, it was all I could give her. I just want her to know I love her and to see if she's ok and happy. Maybe it would be nice to have a picture of her. I don't want to upset her life or put any stress on her. It's just important for me to know if she's ok. Please if you can help or not would you let me know. Thank You Dorothy How it changed my life:I don't trust the goverment. I believe they should put much more study into their jobs before removing a child and upsetting a family.
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